My Work as an Author

 

For once, I'm not here to rant or ramble. LOL!!  I'm just here to share some professional information with you.

I am a writer, of course. My favorite things to write are horror and thrillers. If anyone would like to check out my work, here is my website: http://hstrial-kkarakazoo.homestead.com/index.html

If you'd like to check out my Author page on Facebook and 'Like' my page, I'd like that very much. :)
 https://www.facebook.com/ThrillsAndChills

If you'd like to follow me on Twitter, you can find me at @karakazoo.

This is my first published novel, written almost entirely on Twitter! That's right everyone, it's the first and only book ever to be written on Twitter! Check out the #TwitterNovel,  'Birds of a Feather'! http://www.amazon.com/Birds-Feather-Kara-Stefanowich-ebook/dp/B00HXZU6YK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1415750634&sr=8-1&keywords=stefanowich

This is my second publication, the prequel to 'Birds of a Feather'. http://www.amazon.com/Creation-Assassin-Redemption-Kara-Stefanowich-ebook/dp/B00CPSNDT0/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1415750634&sr=8-3&keywords=stefanowich

And here's my most recent publication, 'Hostage'. (This one is my pride and joy....well, until the next publication. LOL!!) http://www.amazon.com/Hostage-Kara-Stefanowich-ebook/dp/B00G8U91W4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1415750634&sr=8-2&keywords=stefanowich

Next, I'm working on a book called 'TAG'. Its about tag team serial killers that clash when one wants to get out of the game. It turns into a game like no other. One killer tortures and kills a victim and frames the other. Then the killer who wants out gets a hint, a sophisticated piece of the puzzle in a morbidly poetic journal. In order to avoid being caught by the detective who's hot on his heels, he must find the victim and eliminate the crime scene before it's too late.

Stay tuned.....keep in touch....don't be a stranger....because 'TAG' is coming soon!!

Love

An animal, a quest, a game to be won. It's a wonder, a woman, waiting for love. We can't wait, or dream, or expect love. It comes as it is and we work to keep it, No matter what. It takes time, thought, energy to keep. It takes work, triumph, someone to give in. It's a fight, a battle, a war to win. But if we surrender and call truce, we may have the gift. A present, a future with him. It's okay to wait, to sit, to spin. It's okay that we want nothing more than to scream within. Some day, we'll know what it was all for. Someday we may understand what we couldn't before. So why fight, why stress, why give up and run when we can smile, give in and win the war. 

Rock and a Hard Place

My gosh, where do I begin?

So much has been going on over the last year. I released my second novel, which was great. It was a lot of work and made me CRAZY but it was a good turn out.

My boyfriend celebrated his first official year in his home. Turned out to be a better place than expected. Not too many scary surprises over the winter or summer.

There have been many talks of doing an addition to my boyfriend's property because as it is, it's not big enough for our families combined. We had discussed it and I had hoped it would be done by this summer. But it wasn't.

Since the break of the frost this year, the city that I currently live in has decided to do major repairs in my entire neighborhood. To give you a better idea of how fun this year has been, let me just say, I live on a very small dead end street. The bulk of the construction has been happening on both sides of the street that my street connects to at the same time. So getting in or out of my neighborhood has been a complete nightmare all year long.

So during the week I'm contending with road blocks, large machinery blocking up the available road way and police officers who are often rude and NEVER know what the hell is going on. (I literally have to drive in circles around my neighborhood every single weekday in an attempt to get to work and get home because they wont open one side of the road for local traffic.) On the weekends I pack up and drive an hour away to my boyfriend's house.

In the meantime, I'm working on my third novel and raising my son. My son got his first set of stitches this year and of course, it had to be in the face. I also took my son off of all his meds this year, which was the best thing I've ever done for him.

I've had rabbits annihilate all my gardens to the brink of doom this year, so crops were not as fruitful as I'd hoped. They also ate every single one of my flowers in my landscaping, which completely broke my heart.

I've had several issues with my car. Fuel pump left us in a parking lot. Flat tire on the way out of the mechanics property forced another repair. Inspections demanded MANY fixes and my wallet has been giving me the silent treatment ever since.

Several strokes of bad luck in nearby Springfield has raised my blood pressure and is currently making me question whether or not I should look for a job elsewhere. (Big cities have big nuts. Beware.)

This year is the last year my son has of middle school. So next fall he will be entering High School.

Now....Its been a whole year that my boyfriend and I have been 'talking' about the addition he was supposed to do. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is not very good at making decisions. As a reflection of that, the addition turned into talks of rebuilding the house entirely to our liking. We talked it TO DEATH. But, he never took steps to actually get it started. NOW.....a year later.....he's 'talking' about selling his current home and buying another house. BUT....he doesn't want to even THINK about doing anything until spring.

*screams and rips out hair, opens window and throws said hair at the bucket loader in my driveway*

So now I'm sitting in my loud, trembling home, trapped and angry, wondering if I'll ever get out of here. I'm completely stressed out because the holidays are coming. One of my bosses is leaving for the winter and now I'm missing work due to road construction.

I'm afraid of what's going to happen to my son come next fall because I have no idea what High School I'm supposed to enroll him in. If I move in with my boyfriend, it will be in a town an hour away from where I am now, so its an entirely different district. I need to make sure we tour the school ahead of time to prepare my son. For those of you who don't know, my son has high functioning autism. So big changes don't usually go over well. I need to ease him into that kind of transition.

My boyfriend thinks this whole thing is just hilarious and insists that I simply trust him. Excuse me, I love him but I've also spent the last three years observing him and his behaviors and I've concluded that I cannot trust him with big decisions. He gets confused, he over thinks every single detail and then he gets overwhelmed and gives up. Then he throws the entire subject in the closet and changes stations to 'Hunting Season' and 'Camp' and "Oh, maybe I'll buy more land for the camp."

Meanwhile, I'm shaking in my boots. MILLIONS of questions are going through my mind. Do I just let him spend the next 10 years 'thinking about making decisions' and stay put in a place that's now far too small for me and my teenage son? Do I go ahead and get a mortgage by myself and just do what's best for me and my son? Am I pressuring my boyfriend to do something he really doesn't want to do? Did he buy the place he has now on purpose because he didn't really want me and my son to move in? Is he doing it on purpose to procrastinate so that my son will graduate and move out before I move in with him? Can I afford a mortgage? Do I need to start working weekends again? Should I move into an apartment closer to my boyfriend while I'm waiting for him to make a decision? Does ANY of this work out in my favor? Am I in yet another situation where I'm with someone who's real interest doesn't lie with me, but only himself? Am I making the right choice by waiting for him? Should I stop waiting and simply assume it will never happen?

I'm in hell right now. I'm crying as I write this because the stress level is KILLING ME.  While everyone else laughs at me, I'm crying. Not only am I stressed out, I'm confused, I'm mad and I'm fairly certain no one cares.

I hate my home. All I want to do is leave, but no one will let me (be it a team of construction workers or a boyfriend who insists I stay put and wait).

I hate my life. I've spent 33 years 'in transition'. I'm never on solid ground. Never safe. Never comfortable. I hate my life and it just wont end.

What do I do?????

Nature Calls

I love my boyfriend. I love him more than he knows. He teaches me so much every day, and he doesn't even know it. But this blog is not about romance. It's about nature.

Last week my BF went to his camp in NY with one of his hunting buddies. At the end of the day he called me up and told me him and his buddy went driving around looking for hunting spots and counted more than 100 deer in an hour. I, of course, told him he was full of shit and reminded him about fishermen and their stories of fish far larger than they really were. My BF did not find this amusing at all, so this weekend at the last minute he decided we were going to camp (3 hours away) so he could prove to me there were really high numbers of deer out in the open.

Now, I've been there before, many times. Yes, there are a lot of deer. The first time we went to check out the property before buying it, we were driving up to it and found deer laying down on the side of the road. Didn't even care that we were driving by. So I know there are deer there. But over 100 in an hour? I don't think so.

Anyway, we drove all the way there and we drove all over the area and counted exactly 69 deer. Not kidding. Don't be gross. I prayed we'd see at least one more just so I didn't have to say we saw '69' deer. But that was what we saw that night.

My BF was rather disappointed about the lack of numbers that day when we drove all the way there so he could prove to me that it was more than possible to see over 100 in one hour. But, he drove us back to camp where we started a fire and sat out the rest of the night.

But before we went out driving around looking for deer, we took a little walk into the woods and just sat down, silent and still and just listened. We heard leaves falling all around us and even on us. It was so loud that I had a difficult time telling the difference between the leaves falling and footsteps. I looked all around, real slowly so as not to make myself noticeable. We didn't see much......except for a squirrel. This squirrel was so loud. We both watched it from a far. It came trotting right over to us. I really thought it had no idea we were there. It didn't look at us. It just ran over, hopping and stopping here and there looking for food. Then it noticed we were sitting there and it stopped right in front of us. If I had to guess, I'd say about........12 feet away? There was a single tree right next to it. It used the tree as a security blanket. He didn't stray far from it. He just stared at us, standing still for a moment. He looked from me to my BF and back to me again. He wasn't sure what we were. He made a few sounds to see what we'd do, but we didn't do anything, didn't move. He ran back and forth as if to show dominance, but we still did nothing. He got a little closer and looked back and forth from him to me as if he were wondering what we were going to do. It took a while but after showing off for us for about 6 minutes, he was off and looking for more food.

That was rather funny to me. I remembered as a child how I would sit in the woods in Maine and the animals would even come up and walk over my legs! But none of them had ever put on quite the display as this squirrel did.....New Yorkers....am I right? LOL!!

Our silence made all the difference. Quiet movements, slow breathing, pauses.....they made all the difference. If we had been barging through the woods, we never would have met Mr. Squirrel that day. And little did I know, there was more to come.

The next morning, we sat up just long enough to have a cup of coffee before we went out in the woods to check the hunting cameras and change the chips. We walked through the woods as silently as we could. There were fresh fall leaves on the ground but there had been a good dew on the ground from the night. So it wasn't so loud. We took our time. We stopped from time to time just to listen and look.

When we approached the first camera we spooked 3 deer that had bedded just next to the camera! All 3 jumped up turned to look at us for a moment then lifted their white tails and ran off. We stopped and waited for them to leave before changing the chip in the camera and moving onto the next one.

There were no more deer (that we saw) but being as quiet as we were, upon returning to camp we saw a fisher cat just a few yard from our camper romping around in the woods. It didn't seem bothered by our presence at all. In my experiences in Maine, fisher cats are NOT an animal to be toyed with. They are like over grown minks with fangs and a bad attitude. They will chase you, they will mess you up and yes, they can climb trees. LOL!!

Anyway, I was just impressed with how much nature we were able to be a part of this weekend. In just one night! Id almost forgotten how impressive it can be. I also became painfully aware of how ridiculously LOUD I am. LOL!! Step lightly folks. It makes all the difference.

So that was my weekend. Scouting deer with my BF and finding myself in nature once again.  It becomes more clear every day why I hate the city so much.

Anyway, be one with nature so that when it calls, you answer in kind.

Big Bad Welfare

Last night I had a little conversation online about welfare and just how angry it makes us working folks.

I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that get all worked up when people like me start yelling about how welfare needs a quick cap and how abused it is. Look, it's all what I've seen in my lifetime that stems my opinions. I know what goes on. I see it, I hear it, I feel it and I pay it.

There are a select few people out there who actually need the help, but all help has a limit. I speak from personal experience. As a new single mother, I found myself in a hole so deep I cried every day in fear of never being able to climb out of it. I had NOTHING. And I mean nothing. I had no family, no friends, no license, nothing. I found myself alone, with a baby, without a car, a job or anyway to pay the rent. I NEEDED help. I signed up for welfare and got very little for benefits. I had to live on $450.00 in cash and $110.00 in food stamps per month. It did NOT pay the rent and I ended up in the hole so bad that I had no hope of ever paying my ever rising bills.

I refused to live like that. I needed to find work. So I did. I walked the streets every single day, with my baby in tow and went to every single business I could find within walking distance from my apartment. Every day, I filled out applications, talked to business owners, did interviews and even posted up papers offering things like house cleaning and yard work. Nothing. It wasn't until someone put in a good word for me that I finally got a call back. I was so happy that after I'd worked for about a month and had the state up my ass demanding paystubs that I finally said, "No thanks. I don't need to be on welfare anymore. I can pay my bills on my own. Thanks for everything." Then I cut up my EBT card and never looked back.

So I do know what it's like. BUT.....

After I got steady work and decided to get out into the world and go back to school, I met several other people who I became friends with. Over the couple years of schooling we all became kind of close. I started babysitting for one friend who promised to pay me ridiculous amounts of money (that I never expected to get) and you can imagine my shock when she actually paid me. She was a young mother of 2 kids. She had a live in boyfriend who was the father of both kids and worked full time and yet, she was on welfare.

When she produced the ridiculous amount of money for babysitting the kids, I tried to give it back to her thinking she needed it more than me if she was on welfare. She refused to take it back and said she was perfectly fine. So I asked her how she was so fine if she was on welfare and her response shocked me.

She explained to me that the money she paid me for babysitting was from welfare, not out of her pocket. All she had to do was tell the state that she was looking for work but needed a babysitter to do so and *POOF*, she got a check.

She also said that she refused to marry the father of her children because if she's married, the state will demand proof of his employment and stop paying her welfare. Instead, she lies and tells them that she's single. Doing that, her boyfriend was forced to pay child support which goes to her, hence, back to him since they actually lived together. So that was no big deal for them. She got over $700.00 worth of food stamps every month and over $1000.00 in cash benefits! She was very happy to live at home as a housewife with several sources of income, free daycare, free medical care and even vouchers for heat in the winter!

She was even happier when she gave birth to baby #3....and then #4. It seems the more kids you have, the more money they give you.

After a few months of me helping her out, the reality of it all kept haunting me. I kept it to myself for a while and just tried to encourage her to get work and do things right. But it didn't work. Instead she introduced me to several other women who were doing the exact same thing.

It ate at me every day. I stopped hanging out with her as often. Work was kicking me in the ass anyway. I was getting so exhausted working 7 days a week that I just didn't have much time for friends anymore.

But it really got to me one day when I went to visit her and when I got to her house (which she had just purchased with her boyfriend) she had a friend over. As I pulled up I saw a brand new Chrysler 300 sitting in the driveway all sparkly and nice. I walked into the house and saw a very young woman dressed to the nines with big chunky jewelry, brand name clothes and hair newly done (which must have cost a fortune as she was Puerto Rican with LONG, curly hair).

My friend introduced me to her and immediately said, "She's one of us who lives with her boyfriend, has a whole mess of kids and is on welfare." she even laughed about it like it was a game and this girl was really good at it. The lady then laughed and proudly admitted that it was true. She even bragged about having something like 7 kids at home and said she didn't care how many kids she had cuz they all meant money to her.

I was so disgusted I made an excuse to leave and I got the hell out of there. I drove home in my rickety, 14 year old vehicle with my jaw clenched. All I could think was, "That's where all my tax money is going! To people who take advantage, then bring freaking LITTERS of children into the world and teach them to do the same damn thing!"

After a few months of not seeing or hearing from me, she called me one day and insisted we get together and hang out some time. I couldn't hold it in anymore, I let her have it. I told her how I felt about her living situation and explained how she, as my friend, was causing harm to me and my child by taking food out of our mouths and taking money away from important bills because she wants to be lazy and have a silver spoon up her ass without earning it.

We didn't speak for a very long time after that. Even now.....I might hear something from her on Facebook like twice a year. She knows I was right.

But it wasn't just her. I'm using my experience with her as a single example. I've met MANY along the way. They think its a joke. They actually make a job out of screwing the system and its so common that my disgust for welfare recipients has grown a great deal over the years.

So don't give me any grief about bashing welfare recipients. You know who you are. You know damn well whether or not you're one of those that abuses the system or actually needs the help. So when I post things about welfare being abused or how there should be drug testing for welfare applicants or whatever, don't waste your time being an ass about it (not that anyone on my sites ever do), but make a difference instead. Vote, contact your state with letters, report abuses to the system. Do whatever it takes to make a difference in your community. Hopefully some day we'll get to keep our taxes.

Stubborn Has a Price

For years now, I've been trying to give people a most basic message: Stubborn has a price.

Everyone grows up with likes and dislikes. And most of us remember our parents saying something along the lines of, "You'll do what I say as long as you live under my roof." Well, there's a reason for that. Our parents typically have our best interest in mind. When they enforce rules, boundaries and diet it's not because they take pleasure in watching us suffer, it's because they care. They want us to grow up with love, respect and good health. So they spend years drilling it into us.

So when you grow up and move out into the world, you do what we all do. We go NUTS!! We eat cake for breakfast, we go to bed when we realize we fell asleep on the couch. We leave lights on in rooms we weren't in for hours! We leave dishes in the sink, throw our clothes on the floor and don't bother to answer the door when someone rings the bell. Why? Cuz we don't have to.

As a result of this "nuts" phase, there are inherently consequences. We slowly learn that there are reasons why our parents made us do stuff as kids. We start to see bugs in the sink full of those dirty dishes. When your friends get annoyed with you because they came to visit and sprained an ankle on the clothes you left on the floor, you realize you probably shoulda picked those up. When you gain 20 pounds and start to feel nauseous when you see that chocolate cake on the counter you start to think, "Geeze, maybe I should have some corn flakes instead." When you wake up too damn tired to get your shit together and go to work you realize you need to go to bed earlier.

Unfortunately, not everyone feels this way. There are lots of people out there who just shrug it all off and continue to do whatever they want because that stubborn bug buried its head so far up their ass it's now made a home. You know who you are. Those folks who drink all week long and ignore that headache every morning. Those folks who gained 40 pounds last year and figured, "Eh, that's just baby weight that I'll never be able to get rid of, anyway." Those folks who make that weekly grocery trip just because they ran out of snack cakes. Yup, those are the stubborn ones.

Just know, all you stubborn asses, that just because mom and dad aren't there to tell you "no" anymore doesn't mean its okay to do the opposite of everything they taught you. Clean your apartment, do your laundry once a week, cook some healthy meals, limit your alcohol intake and for goodness sake, quit smoking. You KNOW your mom and dad hate that you smoke. And if you don't smoke then chuck that bag of potato chips, get off your fat ass and walk around the block a few times. Spend time with loved ones. Love, Live and be Happy!

For all of you who read this and roll their eyes, know that for that cake you stuff your face with every day, for all the cigarettes you smoke and for all the "I'll do what I want" 's that come out of you, God says, "Okay, but in exchange for your greed and selfishness, I'm taking 20 years off your life, so enjoy it while you can."

And if THAT doesn't bother you, imagine how all your loved ones will take it when they lose you 20 years too soon.

*crosses arms*

You Are What You Eat

Last week my son asked me a rather yucky question. I don't want to gross anyone out or embarrass anyone so to make it short and sweet, he wanted to know why a person's 'wastes' make streak marks in the toilet.

DON'T QUIT READING!!! It gets better, I promise. LOL!!

I had recently had some problems with my son's diet and an issue that arose about stealing snack foods and going on junk food binges and why that's bad. So I took this opportunity to teach him in a way that I knew he could relate to.

Now and days people have just awful diets. People have a terrible habit of doing what makes them feel good instead of what's good for them. I don't do that, and I'm trying like hell to teach my son to be a smarter, stronger man than his counterparts will be.

This is the part where I lecture everyone about eating frozen, pre-made or prepackaged foods. I don't care what it says on the box or bag, it will NEVER be fresh. Frozen is quite literally "Frozen" and fresh is quite literally "Fresh". Fresh foods cannot be sold in the freezer section. Anything you find in the freezer section is filled with preservatives because freezing alone cannot make food last as long as it takes to package, ship, stock and sell. And then there's the possible thaw that may occur during shipping and so on. Those packages would only last if they were air tight. We all know, they are not. So preservatives and chemicals are added to keep them from rotting.

Any boxed foods that you buy typically have tons of dehydrated ingredients which in the process of dehydration eliminates a large percentage of the foods vitamins and nutrients. In addition to that, a lot of the dehydrated ingredients are also preservatives and chemicals that add colors and artificial flavors to the actual food because the dehydration process took both those things away.

When you buy fresh meats, veges, fruits and herbs you eliminate a large amount of preservatives and chemicals that you would find in those other types of foods. I cannot speak for or account for the practices of the farmers where your fresh foods are coming from, and we all know that food labels are not always dependable. Marketers like to trick the general public in any way they can to make you buy their product. But basic education in your local supermarkets and (even better) you local farmers can help you make better purchasing decisions.  I understand that fresh foods are very expensive so we must substitute them from time to time, but if you balance it all out you should be able to live a very healthy life.

Having given you that little lecture, I will tell you what I told my son.

The human body is made to eat a variety of foods. We, by nature, are made to eat meat and plant foods. God did not make twinkies and you cannot pick snickers bars off trees. Soda doesn't flow from mountain springs and you cannot grow French fries. Man made foods are a product of gluttony. We just want to eat foods that taste good, but no one ever slapped the manufacturers hand and said, "No! That will make people sick!" So, now we have a problem.

When all you eat is things with lots of fats, sugars, salts and oils, the human body is not capable of processing the amount that people like to eat. So what happens is, whatever the body could not process gets stuck inside you, along the lining of your veins, arteries, organs, intestines and so on. Over a long period of time it can (and usually does) cause things like, high cholesterol, heart disease, heart attacks, strokes, high blood pressure and lots of other diseases. When your body collects these oils, sugars and salts like this, the body (which is an amazing thing and is designed to fix itself) attacks them and will not stop attacking them until they are gone. If the body never has a chance to process them, it goes into a kind of shock or stress that we diagnose as diseases and the other things I've mentioned above.

So when you poop and the poop leaves streaks in the toilet its because you 've eaten too many products with those preserving and tasty ingredients in them. Those oils and sugars become sticky once your body has processed it and it leaves those marks in the toilet. So when you see those marks when you go to the bathroom, you know its time to start eating some fruit and salads.

My son immediately went into the fridge, pulled out an apricot and ate it. It was the first time in months that I actually SAW him eat fruit. LOL!!

So you know what they say? You are what you eat. If you eat lots of fatty, greasy, salty, sweet stuff, you get to KEEP a good portion of it inside you......until your body just can't take anymore.

Now, just for the sake of adding this information, I must encourage everyone out there to learn, and teach your children how to garden and feed from your family from that. Produce is very expensive, so if you can grow your own food, you absolutely should. You'd be amazed how much money you'll save and how much healthier you'll become.

Kids are NOT being taught how to be self sustaining. I was made very aware of what happens to city folks when electricity goes out. We had a big storm not too long ago that shut down whole towns. No grocery stores, no gas stations, no TV. People lost their friggen minds! I was laughing because I had purchased an echo friendly car while these city folks in their hummers and SUV's were now dooking it out at the gas station. I laughed as I drove by and went to work. While mothers where fist fighting over the last gallon of milk, I was drinking water. Everyone went crazy and I just sat back and watched.

Seriously? Grow a garden. Learn to do canning. Learn to use what you have to get by. Otherwise, Darwin wins. Its survival of the fittest and all you city folks will be the first to go. Teach your children how to survive, live off the land. Get chickens if you can. They supply you with eggs and meat. Learn to fish. You'll never go hungry. Pick fruit in the spring, summer and fall. Grow your garden in the summer and collect your bounty as they ripen, learn to preserve them (properly) and feed your family all winter. Seriously.

You are what you eat. So are you healthy or not?