Thursday, February 26, 2015
Here we go again. This year is not going well at all, and I'm sure it's not going to get any better. I truly believe that I'm cursed and I'm really starting to wonder if I should be fighting magic with magic.
It all seemed to be rather balanced for a while, that is until December, when I had a massive toothache and went to my dentist who informed me that I had a tooth infection and needed a root canal or an extraction. Then he informed me that he doesn't do root canals and that I'd need to find a specialist. So, after taking a small amount of meds I went back to the dentist who recommended a specialist (who turned out to be a pediatric orthodontist and wouldn't work on me since I'm an adult) and told me to wait and see if the infection came back. During this same visit, the dentist decided to do a filling and injected me more than 5 times with novacane and managed to numb everything except my mouth. Upon telling him that it wasn't working and him trying to inject me even more, I had began to have palpitations and had to stop him and abort the appointment all together. This scared him and he threw his hands in the air and insisted that I see my cardiologist before coming back in.
So then I had to make an appointment with the cardiologist, which took a few weeks. In the meantime, I was worried because my tooth was not getting any better and I knew the damages an infection can do if given the time.
Once I finally got to see the cardiologist, and informed him of everything that had happened, he insisted my dentist was not very professional and that I should only be going to professionals who are certified and licensed in dentistry and oral surgery, if possible, so that they can handle a situation, should one occur, such as mine.
At this point, the search was on for a qualified dentist who can see me quickly and do the necessary work without causing me to have a heart attack. (Not that that would happen.) It turned out to be a ridiculously impossible task. Several places I called, advertised that they were oral surgeons and specialized in things like root canals, refused to see me because of my heart condition, which, by the way, is very minor and I've had it all my life. Then, other places who also claimed to be licensed in oral surgery among other things suddenly weren't so qualified anymore.
Anyway, just when I finally find a reputable dentist, I now have TWO infections and require a lot more work than originally expected. Like $8,000 worth. And, of course, time is limited or else this will get worse and the cost will go up.
Apart from that friggen mess, my heart condition was officially diagnosed (sort of). Fortunately, according to the doctor, it's not that severe and is manageable with medication. Even as he's right and the meds are working very well, I read up on this disorder. The two major worry factors for people with this disorder are a possible stroke and sudden death. Now, I know that these things are not likely to happen, it's still a possibility that it could happen. In the back of my mind I keep thinking about how I've always known that I would die from a heart attack. Now this. And the fact that I'm a mother and have absolutely nothing to leave to my son when I die and no family to leave him with, I'm a little freaked out right now. I know, it's stupid and I'm just being a woman who worries. Yeah, yeah. Knowing that doesn't make this easier.
That's not all. All my fish keep dying. I had to give my cat away who could very well be DEAD right now because I know no one can take care of her like I can. My son's been sick for over a month, though he seems to finally be getting better. My bills are higher than they've ever been and for the first time in my life, I cant seem to lose weight to save my damn life!
My boyfriend is supposed to be taking steps to start building a house for us. He's doing the best he can, but meanwhile all this other stuff keeps happening that's putting some serious kinks in things. Unexpected accidents, car repairs, plumbing issues.....blah, blah, blah. And now mother nature has become vengeful yet again. Snow came late this year and wont go away, along with the sub zero temperatures. In case you haven't caught on, those are terrible building conditions. Saturday is the first day of March and we have 3 feet of snow outside and more in the forecast. Even if we start the house, the likelihood of it being done by the time Jake has to start high school in the fall is low. Then what? More drama, trauma, bad grades, bad attitudes and possibly a complete melt down.
Today is my birthday. Every year, all I've ever truly wanted for my birthday is to have an easy, quiet day.....*sighs*....well, the end of the month is here and I had to get my car inspected. About a month ago, my car had a strange kind of episode and I had it towed to the mechanic who kept if for a couple days and then told me he couldn't find anything wrong with it. Money well spent. So I just had him do a little maintenance tune up, just in case. Car's been great since. Today I took it for an inspection and in minutes, it failed. There seems to be a safety issue with a loose part having something to do with a tie rod, whatever that is. Oh, and I have a tail light out.
So tomorrow I get to sit at the mechanics while he fixes all the tie rod stuff and charges me all the rest of the money I have in my account. Meanwhile, the rent is due, the cable bill is due and I have two very expensive dentist appointments coming up.
While I'm chewing on all that, my son comes home today and tells me a little story. He told me that the kid that got hit walking to school yesterday was a kid from his school. He told me that the boy is okay and got out of the hospital today, which is good. But while he was digesting this information, his school bus was leaving the school property today and stopped just in time to see the crossing guard get hit by a pick up truck. My son is a little traumatized now. He keeps describing what he saw. How the crossing guard flew several feet through the air and fell into the snow bank. How hurt he looked, buckled over and holding his leg. He told me that his bus driver and monitor ran out of the bus and helped the bus driver by calling 911.
Believe me, I am well aware that other people have it far worse than me, but I'm getting very tired. This kind of stress is exhausting. I need the winter to be over. I need the drama to stop. I need to bad luck to just die already. I need a break.
I need a break.
God bless all of you, and keep you from the bad ju-ju that plagues me every single day.