Follow by Email

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

How Times are Changing

It's occurred to me on more than one occasion that I'm living in an era that I don't belong in. Or at least one that I don't like. I feel like I should have been in another time, place, dimension...I don't know. I just know I don't like anything about the way things are now.

So much war....war....a war that won't stop. Not ever. This isn't a problem that has a solution. We're (as people) just too different. I know that the human race is supposed to be linked, like a herd. A social species. But think about it like this, what if the world were a fish tank? Now lets say that you mix large fish with small ones, and aggressive ones with community fish. Now lets shake things up some more, lets say you have a fresh water tank, a salt water tank and a brackish tank. Now poor them all together. What will happen?


They will all fight to the death, and which ever ones survive will then die from the environmental changes.

We're all going to die.....if we can't just leave each other alone.

It began so long ago and has transformed the world into what it is today. Chaos. But no one sees it as chaos, for some reason. Because people only see the now, what's in front of them at the moment. Years and years and years of shaping, molding, brain washing, lying, crime, disease has made this.

If we stop trading with other countries, helping other countries, allowing other countries to invade ours, paying other countries and sending our patriots to other countries then and only then will America have a shot at rebuilding itself, its citizens and its resources.

But that won't happen. There's too much money involved now. Too much debt. And frankly, we're all afraid of each other.

So like I said before, we're all going to die. It's too bad. This world has so much potential.

Saturday, July 9, 2016


Its an ugly topic. Its an ugly word. But its also a HUGE problem in America today.

After so many crimes and so much controversy it seems we're on the verge of a Civil War. Why??

I don't understand. In this day in age, it shocks me that so many people still feel so bitterly towards other races. I could care less what color anyone's skin is. As a matter of fact, if anything, I may feel a tad bit jealous from time to time, simply because I'm white and don't tan very well.

I don't believe that the color of anyone's skin is the issue these days. I think culture is the issue. Now, I may be a little bias because I've never been away from the North East apart from Florida, so I don't really know much about other states and cultures, but from what I see around here, culture is the problem.

True culture has been fogged over, shaded and tweaked over the years. And what we once thought were wonderful cultures have now become something considered undesirable by the surrounding masses. For example, a city that I work in has a very high population of people who receive state benefits simply for having too many children to support in their current financial bracket. After speaking to many different people about this specific issue, I've come to a single conclusion: The culture of these people are all the same. Strangely enough, they are NOT all the same color and do NOT all come from the same country. They simply share the same culture. This specific culture strongly believes that the more children you have the better and that if you have kids together, you stay together. Now, I've heard many people say this is a religious belief, but frankly, I've met and know many of these people and I've NEVER seen them attend a single second of church. Nor do any of them practice any particularly religious behaviors and ceremonies. The amount of "sin" they commit daily is quite remarkable for these "religious" people. So for this reason, I consider the problem a cultural prejudice. that I've explained by example why I think its cultural, this is why I think it leads to hate. Having children is not a problem until all your neighbors have to pay for them. When there is nothing wrong with you, yet you fully believe that you should be a stay at home mom and continue to have baby after baby with men why do not honor their status as father and man, then you become a problem, a financial burden to all of your statewide neighbors since most states will financially support innocent children with tax payers money, those individuals suddenly get paid to literally stay at home and make babies regardless of their partners beliefs or honor systems.

Everyone knows that Americans are getting lazier every day. And believe me, when you work 40+ hours a week just to see it all fly out the window to Uncle Sam and then you turn around and see an unemployed person walking the streets in their pajamas, talking on the latest and greatest iphone and wearing 14kt gold jewelry with diamonds the size of golf balls on them, it really makes one want to quit their job and have a few illegitimate  children. But, not everyone can stand to do that so they kill themselves working for people who don't appreciate it and who don't work for anyone at all. what creates hate.

So when your leaders fail you, don't take it out on everyone else. Take it out on your leaders, right? The only problem, there is a right way and a wrong way to do things. For example, cold blooded murder never accomplished anything except war. And I know people see Police as leaders, but they are not. They are simply enforcers of law. Our leaders are our government, our Judges, our Politicians. But no one cares to go after them. That would be too hard. I mean, they all have high power positions, teams of lawyers and bottomless pockets.

Knowing this, when someone of a particular culture does something as nasty as shoot police officers at random, or torture and kill customers at a café just because they don't practice a specific religion, or terrorize an entire city with shootings, looting, muggings and rapes because you feel like a victim, you are nothing more than another criminal and you should be punished at the fullest extent of the law.

Having said that, if you are truly racist and see nothing but the color of a person's skin, you don't belong here. America is not for you. And you need to either leave this country immediately, or be punished to the fullest extent of the law for any kind of crime you commit against anyone. This is 2016 and we do NOT practice slavery of any kind. Its gone. Its over and it NEVER should have happened in to begin with. Humans have come a long way, but if you refuse to accept the world you live in, get out.  America is the land of the free. Its the only place in the world where anyone from any country can come to work and raise their families in peace.

Our government has failed us by providing unlimited funds to people for no reason which in turn created a brand new culture of lazy free loaders who feel entitled to free money and use racism as an excuse when their tax paying neighbors get mad because of all the money they have to pay the government for those said freeloaders. Now, remember when I said the people of this specific culture believes in having as many children as God grants them? Well, do the math. When working people see the value of the dollar and respect it because they grew up working, they refrain from having many children as they are too expensive to raise. So that particular culture lowers in population while the other one drastically increases in population. Numbers don't lie. Its a vicious cycle. And it will do nothing but cause hate and war until someone steps up to the plate and fixes it.

Give the people a reason to earn their keep. Make them understand the meaning of hard work and respect. Do this and they will love you for it. Eventually, they will see the error in their ways and they will soon raise their children to work and respect that work for all it will provide them with.

But please, don't scream racism whenever a crime is committed, or whenever someone gets killed by someone who isn't the same color as the victim. Unless their is true, unquestionable evidence that it was crime against race, do NOT accuse anyone of it. You will only hurt your community. But your local leaders, write a letter to the President of the United States!!! TELL THEM....there is a problem and suggest ways to fix it. THIS is how you can change the world.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016


I don't talk about this stuff much, but I'm sad. For a short time in my life I had friends, a sister....people I could talk to. Now, I don't. It's probably my own fault but never the less, I'm sad. 

I moved away, I work a lot, the people in my life kind of drifted away, my sister did terrible things that pretty much destroyed our sisterhood and caused us to be estranged, so here I sit at the end of a long, hard day wanting to rip my hair out at the roots and no one to talk to. 

I'm overwhelmed by everything expected of me. Lol! Yes, I've trapped myself with barbed wire laced with responsibility and I've soaked my wounds in loyalty. Now I'm drying my tears with honesty and I'm sleeping in a bed of wishful thinking. 

Like I said, I'm sad. There's so much I want to say but can't for fear of hurting anyone. Meanwhile, all this drama is festering inside of me and that monster I've kept caged for so long has been eating it. 

What a pickle I'm in. 

If she gets out....oh my god, there will be no safe place left on earth. I'm not even kidding. 

I'd meditate but I think it's all crap. I'd see a therapist but I'm afraid they'd have me committed. I've considered committing crimes just to get some R&R but even though I'm not religious, I still feel like I'd be damning myself. 

I'm so screwed. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015


It's about to happen. I'm about to be the only female in a house full of boys. You know what that means....never ending farting, burping, scratching, inappropriate subjects and language, the odors, toilet seats left up, hair covered bathrooms, never ending sports, beer polluted refrigerator, dishes stacked to the ceiling, the odors, the constant questions ("When's dinner gonna be ready?"), farting, nothing in its place, tools on the kitchen counter, boot prints all over the floor, the odors, overflowing laundry, empty toilet paper rolls, belching, grunting, ESPN on every television, stained carpets, cursing, clogged toilets, the odors.....*sighs*....and then there's the dog....also a male, by the way.

I don't know if I can do this. Even Yankee Candle merging with Sears can't fix this.

I guess all I can do is stock up on toilet paper, bleach, ear plugs, and air freshener. Lysol, take me away! I may take up smoking.....oh god, I forgot. They smoke. *screams and rips out hair* What was I thinking???

How do people do this?? I'm gonna need some now!!

*bangs head against wall*

Wednesday, May 27, 2015


It's time! TAG, a novel about tag team serial killers who find new stomping grounds in Northern Maine, and terrorize the women there. But when one killer falls for his latest victim, his partner turns the tables on him in a whirlwind of mysterious cryptic poetry that could spell his doom.

When a woman is murdered in Madawaska, her best friend (and the object of the killers' affection) is questioned, and just in time as the lead investigator finds. He takes her into protective custody which enrages her stalker and sends him spiraling out of control.  

This story is filled with mystery, fear, psychological thrills, romance, cryptic poetry, sex, torture, heart pounding surprises, and murder. 

Check it out on the commercial for TAG here:

If that caught your eye, you can find TAG in paperback or kindle edition here:

You can also find me on Facebook here:

And if you'd like to see other books I've written, you can find them on my website:

Find me on twitter as @karakazoo. 

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Another Stroke of Bad Luck

Here we go again. This year is not going well at all, and I'm sure it's not going to get any better. I truly believe that I'm cursed and I'm really starting to wonder if I should be fighting magic with magic.

 It all seemed to be rather balanced for a while, that is until December, when I had a massive toothache and went to my dentist who informed me that I had a tooth infection and needed a root canal or an extraction. Then he informed me that he doesn't do root canals and that I'd need to find a specialist. So, after taking a small amount of meds I went back to the dentist who recommended a specialist (who turned out to be a pediatric orthodontist and wouldn't work on me since I'm an adult) and told me to wait and see if the infection came back. During this same visit, the dentist decided to do a filling and injected me more than 5 times with novacane and managed to numb everything except my mouth. Upon telling him that it wasn't working and him trying to inject me even more, I had began to have palpitations and had to stop him and abort the appointment all together. This scared him and he threw his hands in the air and insisted that I see my cardiologist before coming back in.

So then I had to make an appointment with the cardiologist, which took a few weeks. In the meantime, I was worried because my tooth was not getting any better and I knew the damages an infection can do if given the time.

Once I finally got to see the cardiologist, and informed him of everything that had happened, he insisted my dentist was not very professional and that I should only be going to professionals who are certified and licensed in dentistry and oral surgery, if possible, so that they can handle a situation, should one occur, such as mine.

At this point, the search was on for a qualified dentist who can see me quickly and do the necessary work without causing me to have a heart attack. (Not that that would happen.) It turned out to be a ridiculously impossible task. Several places I called, advertised that they were oral surgeons and specialized in things like root canals, refused to see me because of my heart condition, which, by the way, is very minor and I've had it all my life. Then, other places who also claimed to be licensed in oral surgery among other things suddenly weren't so qualified anymore.

Anyway, just when I finally find a reputable dentist, I now have TWO infections and require a lot more work than originally expected. Like $8,000 worth. And, of course, time is limited or else this will get worse and the cost will go up.

Apart from that friggen mess, my heart condition was officially diagnosed (sort of). Fortunately, according to the doctor, it's not that severe and is manageable with medication. Even as he's right and the meds are working very well, I read up on this disorder. The two major worry factors for people with this disorder are a possible stroke and sudden death. Now, I know that these things are not likely to happen, it's still a possibility that it could happen. In the back of my mind I keep thinking about how I've always known that I would die from a heart attack. Now this. And the fact that I'm a mother and have absolutely nothing to leave to my son when I die and no family to leave him with, I'm a little freaked out right now. I know, it's stupid and I'm just being a woman who worries. Yeah, yeah. Knowing that doesn't make this easier.

That's not all. All my fish keep dying. I had to give my cat away who could very well be DEAD right now because I know no one can take care of her like I can. My son's been sick for over a month, though he seems to finally be getting better. My bills are higher than they've ever been and for the first time in my life, I cant seem to lose weight to save my damn life!

My boyfriend is supposed to be taking steps to start building a house for us. He's doing the best he can, but meanwhile all this other stuff keeps happening that's putting some serious kinks in things. Unexpected accidents, car repairs, plumbing issues.....blah, blah, blah. And now mother nature has become vengeful yet again. Snow came late this year and wont go away, along with the sub zero temperatures. In case you haven't caught on, those are terrible building conditions. Saturday is the first day of March and we have 3 feet of snow outside and more in the forecast. Even if we start the house, the likelihood of it being done by the time Jake has to start high school in the fall is low. Then what? More drama, trauma, bad grades, bad attitudes and possibly a complete melt down.

Today is my birthday. Every year, all I've ever truly wanted for my birthday is to have an easy, quiet day.....*sighs*....well, the end of the month is here and I had to get my car inspected. About a month ago, my car had a strange kind of episode and I had it towed to the mechanic who kept if for a couple days and then told me he couldn't find anything wrong with it. Money well spent. So I just had him do a little maintenance tune up, just in case. Car's been great since. Today I took it for an inspection and in minutes, it failed. There seems to be a safety issue with a loose part having something to do with a tie rod, whatever that is. Oh, and I have a tail light out.

So tomorrow I get to sit at the mechanics while he fixes all the tie rod stuff and charges me all the rest of the money I have in my account. Meanwhile, the rent is due, the cable bill is due and I have two very expensive dentist appointments coming up.

While I'm chewing on all that, my son comes home today and tells me a little story. He told me that the kid that got hit walking to school yesterday was a kid from his school. He told me that the boy is okay and got out of the hospital today, which is good. But while he was digesting this information, his school bus was leaving the school property today and stopped just in time to see the crossing guard get hit by a pick up truck. My son is a little traumatized now. He keeps describing what he saw. How the crossing guard flew several feet through the air and fell into the snow bank. How hurt he looked, buckled over and holding his leg. He told me that his bus driver and monitor ran out of the bus and helped the bus driver by calling 911.

Believe me, I am well aware that other people have it far worse than me, but I'm getting very tired. This kind of stress is exhausting. I need the winter to be over. I need the drama to stop. I need to bad luck to just die already. I need a break.

I need a break.

God bless all of you, and keep you from the bad ju-ju that plagues me every single day.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Growing Pains

Something happened last night that's been making me giggle ever since. I figured I'd share it with you all and give you a break from my 'Rants'. Unfortunately, it will be at the expense of my son. Sorry Jake!

Lately, my son, the teenager, is finding it harder and harder to get up in the morning. And, of course, with me as his mother he knew he had to find a solution to this problem before he got into trouble. So he's been going to bed earlier (on his own) and has been on time every day for weeks now.

I just figured he'd finally started listening to me. I told him to set his alarm a couple minutes early, have all his clothes and school stuff ready the night before so that all he'd have to do is get up and get dressed. Then he just needs to come downstairs, have breakfast, use the bathroom and wash up.

But, I guess my son had another plan. Here's how I found out:

Last night Jake went to bed at 8:00pm. Around 9:00pm he came downstairs and ran past me to get to the bathroom. When he ran past me I noticed he was fully dressed. All he was missing was his sneakers....... *blinks*.........

So then he gets out of the bathroom and starts to walk past me when I said, "You're sleeping fully clothed?" He just mumbled something and went back upstairs. The mom in me wanted to follow him up and make him put night clothes on so he'd be more comfortable, but I gave it a second thought and just chalked it up to him being a teenager so I left him alone.

About 20 minutes had passed when suddenly, he came running back downstairs saying, "Wait, wait, wait. I need to ask you something." he came and stood in front of me. "So, I was spraying cologne in my armpits so that I'll be fresh for school tomorrow and I missed and shot myself in the eye. I washed out my eye but now my eye is all pink. Am I gonna be okay?"


I was shocked. I sat there staring at him with my jaw gaped open. I couldn't believe it. LOL!! It all made sense. Of course he wasn't listening to me. How stupid could I be? He took the 'Jake' way out. He was getting fully clothed, spraying himself with cologne and going to bed so that when he woke up all he had to do was put his shoes on and go downstairs to eat and pee. Boom. Done.

Well, that explains the funky odor in his room and how quick he's been in the bathroom lately. It also explains the cavities he's getting filled this Friday and that certain.....ahem....guy problem he's been having lately. Bad hygiene. Wow. I knew boys were gross but my gosh, do they compete for awards in grossness or what??

After an outburst of laughter, I calmly explained why spraying your armpits with cologne is not a good alternative to bathing and using deodorant. Then I explained to him that his visit to the dentist should be punishment enough for not actually brushing or flossing his teeth. And if that didn't kick him in the pants, I reminded him of the two young ladies he's been trying to befriend. If all else fails, the girls will tell him his breath stinks and he needs to shower. Maybe then he'll listen to me. LOL!!