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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Two Hearts Beat as One

Twisted and battered by days old and new, I sit here thinking of only one, only you.

My nights long and beating with hot blooded thoughts, my mind is a flurry of colorful blots.

Words as cunning and cutting as truth find me wanting and waiting as I did in my youth. 

So refreshing is this dance, this song, as the rain in the land where I belong. 

Pain can be surging, purging in angst to its host, but in this time its waiting that hurts me the most. 

There is no care of where or how, just the possibilities that soon will be now. 

Then the pieces of this heart will come together as one, bound in such a way that will never be undone.

At last the puzzle be solved and a picture of beauty will find home, as this bridge will be gapped and we'll never again be alone.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Home is not a Place

Like a whisper in the wind, so soft and unyielding I feel you here. A shadow of peace and a glimpse of destiny you have me in pins over this reality. A far cry from the tears of a child, so tempered and alone. Buried in emptiness yet so alive with hope.

Another day, another hour, another clock to smash on the rocks of patience. Seems so still and yet like a heart beat, never ending, no rest, no pause. A certainty understood by both holds us, binds us in a power only we know. Like the earth on its axis, we spin. Just a matter of time before the spinning changes and the axis shifts. Only then will it be real. Only then will the severity of the nature of the beast show through. Will it be worth it? Will the power be freeing? Or will it convict us of a sin that wont be undone?

Having faith in a kindred spirit binds me to this day. For the moment, for this breath of life to fill me with the energy of your heart, of your soul. It will free me from the restraints of this life, this death of spirit will be reborn bringing a new day, a new light, a new faith in love and a new life.

I will accept this challenge. I will change the ways. I will be counting the minutes, the hours, the days.

No chains will hold us. No silk scarf will silence us. No thorns will pierce us from the rose of an ever blossoming life. We will be, we will breathe, we will share the wings of freedom and fly through the clouds to a distance of great value. There, we will find home. There, I will find you. There, you will find me. Home. In your arms, in your heart and in mine. We are home.

Home is not a place. Home is where the heart is.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Just Another Day at Work

I found myself in the funniest position today. Thought I'd tell you all and share a giggle.

I went to work this morning and was tending to my boss (Rocco) when his wife came stumbling in all sleepy eyed and staggering like a drunk. It was nothing new for her to do this, she's never been a morning person.

She stood by me as I was brushing Rocco's hair (he's quadriplegic) and she says, "You guys, I can hardly move. I feel like I've been hit by a truck."

I looked over at her in wait for an explanation. She began laughing hysterically which of course gave me the giggles (easy to do) and she says, "My shoulder and neck hurt so bad I don't think I can be of much help today." still laughing herself to tears.

Now all 3 of us are laughing and I have no idea why. She looks at me rubbing her shoulder and asks me to feel if anything seems out of whack, (as I'm a certified massage therapist). I say yes and feel her rhomboid muscle and find its knotted all to hell. I say, "Oh yeah, you did a job on that. You should ice it and let it rest a day or so." Now curious, I stop the giggling and ask, "How did this happen?"

Very calm and totally naturally she says, "Oh I got into a car accident yesterday." waving her hand at me like its no big deal. One look from me and of course she spills the beans. "I was just stopping at a red light when a car full of 'things' sped through the 3 lanes of traffic and tried to cut in front of me to turn into a business parking lot." she said with a doe eyed expression. (her definition of 'things' would be a bunch of crazy PR teens. I apologize if you're reading this and happen to be PR but in our area, they're just rampant juveniles looking for trouble.)

So anyway, it was a minor accident where both vehicles were virtually unharmed...only minor damage at unimportant parts of the cars...and no one was hurt. Two cops and a citation later (to the 'thing' driving the speeding car that is) My boss's wife came back home and did little else about it.

Well being the morning after she was feeling it. So as we discussed all this, it was raining like hell outside, my boss is a quadriplegic, and I have a broken foot! Imagine the sight of us 3 in the bathroom as we discussed all this! LOL!!

We finally made it down stairs for breakfast and realized that despite our best efforts to stop the people from coming, tag salers are STILL trying to rummage through the garage! Sighing we all kind of look at each other like, 'who's going to tend to these people?' I sure wasn't going to volunteer! LOL!! My boss's wife (Dolores) bursts into yet another fit of laughter and says, "We cant go out there like this! They'll think we were all in some horrific accident! Me wincing with a stiff neck and sore shoulder, Rocco in the wheel chair and you with a broken foot!"

We all burst out laughing and sent my son Jake out to take care of business. The boy made out like a bandit! LOL!! He even got several  people to go home and come back with trucks! Hahahahhaa!!! And he's only 10!! That's my boy!!

Minutes later she yells at me for being on my feet. Well its my job to be on my feet as I'm her husband's care taker and do all the things he can no longer do! So I argued my position. She began laughing again! Once the fits of contagious laughter had ended she said, "Okay, here's what we'll do, I'll be the legs and get you whatever you need to work with Rocky, and you'll be the arms and do all the paperwork, and Rocky will be the brains and work out all the issues!"

I looked at her after a moment of silence rang through the enormous kitchen and said, "We're ganna need a LOT of duct tape." We were all laughing so hard we were crying!

I guess you really had to be there, but it was a very entertaining sight today. LOL!!

Thursday, August 11, 2011


Feeling the warmth on my skin is a feeling new
As I'm a spec on the hillside under the shadow of the tallest towering trees
But the trees have parted and the sun saw through
No longer in the darkness of chance these unbound roots have me off of my knees
This heart lies still, motionless in the glory of you.

Lines no longer blemish the skies in shame
This fiery blaze rains over me like a storm
Wrists only tethered by red silk and rose petal stains
The moon waxes and the moon wains
Taking its full masterful form
Let there be no more sorrow or fear of pain

Even as the stars dull and fade for the night must turn to day
I cant escape you...

I await you.....I await you

Standing in a meadow of green I feel the wind warm and tender
I'm reminded of a summer still, standing under a willow hill
Like the trunk on the trees so solid and slender
This breeze so soft reminds me of you and I'm here still wanting to be yours forever true

I look to the tree tops as the branches sway
Here I will stand...
I will stay....
I will wait

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Senior Skip Day

When I was in high school we had what was called 'Senior Skid Day', forgive me if you know what this is. I graduated in a very small town with very strange traditions.

Anyway, the tradition was rather disgusting. To be brutally honest, what happened was all the Seniors would get together, pick a day and rent a cabin in the woods in Maine where they would get blind drunk and have an orgie. Yup, you read it right. That's what they did.

But that wasn't my cup of tea so instead, a small group of us got together and decided to have our own drunken party at one of my friends houses. His family had just moved and had their old house up for sale so it was empty. My friend still had the key of course so we all drove to Canada and got some booze before heading over there. It was legal there for an 18 year old to purchase, we smuggled booze across the border. Not like it was the first time. :)

So we all went to the empty house which was a few blocks away from my apartment. Yes, you heard. I had my own apartment....I just wasn't stupid enough to have a party there. LOL!!

Well it was me, my friend Tracy, her boyfriend Matt (who's house it was) and our friend Kevin who had a terrible crush on me. We all sat around on the living room floor and joked around, wrestled, drank, smoked and made fun of all the people we hated.

It was all fun and games but eventually, like any good teenager, they all started to get sick. Tracy wound up peeing in a bathroom with no running water and puking in the tub while I sat on the sink laughing at her and asking if she was okay.

Before we were finished with that, Kevin came running in cause he said he had to throw up, too! Imagine his surprise when he went to vomit in the toilet that Tracy had just used! LOL!! Well he too wound up 'up chucking' his guts in the tub....poor plumbing.

Tracy and I didn't want to be an audience to this so we went down stairs and found that Matt had disappeared. Tracy decided she needed air so we figured we'd look for Matt outside. Sure enough he was on the back porch talking trash to the neighbor who was standing on the property line in the light of his back yard flood light. He was in his bathrobe with his hands in his pockets just watching. Like a soldier in England...he didn't move, didn't say anything...just watched as Matt laughed his ass off calling him a porno loving masturbater and asking him what he was doing in his pockets.

Tracy and I as the only females stood in front of Matt and diverted his attention....but laughing while we did it didn't help. Matt wanted badly to embarrass the man but was laughing so hard he couldn't fight the two of us girls off. So once the fire was averted Tracy and I sat down on the steps and talked for a moment. Before I knew it, she was vomiting again. I was very grateful that I knew my limit and stopped before mixing beer, coffee Brandi and Vodka.

At this point we were all pretty well out of it and running rampant around the yard as the guys were getting rowdy and I couldn't help but jump in....They were picking me up and swinging me around but Kevin was getting a bit too touchy so I decided to just leave. I started to leave but Kevin was pulling at my hoodie so I wormed out of it...(not realizing I had only a bra on under it)...and I continued to walk down the street...Matt and Kevin began chasing me and I really didn't realize it at the time but later found that Kevin was chasing me cause he WANTED me and Matt was chasing Kevin to keep him off me. (Thank god for Matt)

Somewhere along the way the rest of my clothes disappeared and I found myself at a soft comical jog with a smile on my face and the cold spring wind in my hair. I ran down the street and around the corner through the well lit Kmart parking lot where I bumped into another friend of mine, Karen. She grabbed me and demanded to know where my clothes were and what happened. Laughing hysterically, I tried to tell her but she just had a strange look on her face like she couldn't understand me. So I just let it go and turned to head home.

I again broke into a jog and trolloped down the main street in Madawaska Maine not thinking anything of it. Karen, ever a good friend followed closely behind as she had seen Kevin chasing after me. I was close to home when as I was galloping along happily and clumsily I glanced over to see two police officers in a cruiser riding right along side of me, both staring at me with comical expressions on their faces. They didn't say a word, just stared at me and kept pace with me. So I waved and smiled and continued running along. I heard Karen saying something behind me but I didn't know what she said.

I finally got to my front door where Karen waved off the cops and somehow magically produced the key to my apartment. No idea where she found that as I was NAKED! But she helped me get myself together and put me to bed before locking up and walking home.

She had quite the story for me the next day as did the rest of the drunken brawlers. Matt was very angry with Kevin. Kevin was wearing my hoodie. And Tracy was hung over so bad she couldn't remember much at all. I was just pissed because I lost my cigarettes and money on my little frolic home. LOL!!!

Anyway. I just remembered that earlier and had to share. :)

Hope you thought it was as entertaining as I did. LOL!!!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Okay...normally I would just shut up and clean the house with a bandanna tied around my head #Krambo, but I'm MIFFED!!

*pacing back and forth like a woman on the edge*


Okay, I'll say it because I know he never reads my blog so I'm letting it all out!! My dear sweet twitter partner Simon has stood me up for the THIRD time on this damn #TwitterNovel2 and quite frankly....I've had enough!

*throwing pots and pans around the room and randomly sprays things with Pine Sol*

He says, "Okay sweets, could you be a doll and send me what we've got so far?"...and I did...I sent it. Then he went quiet for 2 days. Then I get another message, "Kara, darling, could you please send me what we've got so far on the story? I seem to have deleted it." I did...I sent it again! And AGAIN, he goes quiet. A few days later he says, "Shall we start on Sunday, sweets? Its my free day."...I say, "Do you promise?"...He says, "Of course I promise!"....Sunday comes and goes....I even made a blog announcement...and #TwitterNovel2 entries.

*begins to breath fire*

I ground my teeth but ignored the fact that I'd been stood up for the 2'nd time. Then he sends me a note..."Sorry love, been really busy. Lets make a date for Tuesday. I promise I'll put something in on Tuesday."....I take a deep breath and give him the stern 'mom look' and say..."You PROMISE?"...he says, "Of course! Its a date. Lets say 8pm UK time." I agree and call it a night.

*chest heaving, face reddening, I rub the gloss off the appliances*

Does he show up and put an entry in on Tuesday night? ...............NO.............2 hours later he mails me and asks for the story again!!

*cocks gun*

I'll kill him!!

Fuck it, from now on...I'll just say...."Whatever. If you'd like to make an entry, go for it. But I'm not making anymore dates or announcements."

If I learn anything, it will be never to expect someone to do what they say..........only be happy when its done.


Glad that's off my chest.......even MORE glad he never reads my blog! Hahahahahaha!!!!