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Thursday, September 27, 2012

Tree Rats

Around here we call them tree rats. The pests of the trees! The destroyers of flowers! The dumpster scavengers!


I hate squirrels. I know, most people think they are just SO CUTE! But here, we are not amused. They are so destructive that they typically cause the average Joe about $400 a year. Yup, that's right. $400.00. Don't believe me? Well, think about it. You drop a $20 here and there for some flowers in your outdoor pots or garden and the next day you find them pulled up and shredded on the lawn. plant more. The next day? Destroyed.

Or lets say you are a farmer. Even a small time green thumb. You spend about $100-200 on seeds, plants, compost, soil and lets not forget all the back breaking work you did to set the rows and turn the dirt. Then next day you wake up and look out the window to admire your hard work only to find it ripped up and thrown about the yard.


OR.....lets say your garden makes it! It has officially survived the abusive little monsters. It gets bigger and bigger. You nurture it and tend to it and feed it and you watch those beautiful little vegetables grow. And when its only say a week away from harvest......You suddenly find that the vege's are missing! OH NO!! Then you find it on the other side of the yard with bite marks in it. Or (my personal favorite) you see that big beautiful vege you've been tending to hanging in the crotch of the tree in the back yard.


And if you're not a gardener, how about those days when you get up in the morning and go to take out the trash only to find that those little grey devils actually ATE a hole through the corner of all your trash cans. Yep, every single one.

I've grown accustomed to these things and am looking forward to living in the country again some day since they seem to be so rare in the woods. I guess the trash tastes better in the city.

Yesterday I had to throw out the trash at work and as I'm no stranger to these little bastards, I was weary when opening the lid. The trash was pretty full but no little skitters or scratching so I threw the bag inside and walked away.

There was trash thrown all over the I began picking it all up to put it back into the squirrels grab bag again. Just as I got right up to the trash can (the same one I had just used) a squirrel came flying out of that 'eaten corner' like an accomplished acrobat scaring a scream out of me!

My boss saw this whole thing go down and got himself a good laugh. While I was having palpitations, he was happy. I suppose it was worth it.

But I still say we need to have squirrel hunting season. I could use the furs. And the meat would make great dog food! >:)


  1. The lil fuckers stay on their side of the woods here,Thanks fer the laugh honey darlin',needed it bad! love ya xoxo

    1. LOL!! You're always welcome Tina! I live to make you laugh till you pee! :D