Something happened last night that's been making me giggle ever since. I figured I'd share it with you all and give you a break from my 'Rants'. Unfortunately, it will be at the expense of my son. Sorry Jake!
Lately, my son, the teenager, is finding it harder and harder to get up in the morning. And, of course, with me as his mother he knew he had to find a solution to this problem before he got into trouble. So he's been going to bed earlier (on his own) and has been on time every day for weeks now.
I just figured he'd finally started listening to me. I told him to set his alarm a couple minutes early, have all his clothes and school stuff ready the night before so that all he'd have to do is get up and get dressed. Then he just needs to come downstairs, have breakfast, use the bathroom and wash up.
But, I guess my son had another plan. Here's how I found out:
Last night Jake went to bed at 8:00pm. Around 9:00pm he came downstairs and ran past me to get to the bathroom. When he ran past me I noticed he was fully dressed. All he was missing was his sneakers....... *blinks*.........
So then he gets out of the bathroom and starts to walk past me when I said, "You're sleeping fully clothed?" He just mumbled something and went back upstairs. The mom in me wanted to follow him up and make him put night clothes on so he'd be more comfortable, but I gave it a second thought and just chalked it up to him being a teenager so I left him alone.
About 20 minutes had passed when suddenly, he came running back downstairs saying, "Wait, wait, wait. I need to ask you something." he came and stood in front of me. "So, I was spraying cologne in my armpits so that I'll be fresh for school tomorrow and I missed and shot myself in the eye. I washed out my eye but now my eye is all pink. Am I gonna be okay?"
I was shocked. I sat there staring at him with my jaw gaped open. I couldn't believe it. LOL!! It all made sense. Of course he wasn't listening to me. How stupid could I be? He took the 'Jake' way out. He was getting fully clothed, spraying himself with cologne and going to bed so that when he woke up all he had to do was put his shoes on and go downstairs to eat and pee. Boom. Done.
Well, that explains the funky odor in his room and how quick he's been in the bathroom lately. It also explains the cavities he's getting filled this Friday and that certain.....ahem....guy problem he's been having lately. Bad hygiene. Wow. I knew boys were gross but my gosh, do they compete for awards in grossness or what??
After an outburst of laughter, I calmly explained why spraying your armpits with cologne is not a good alternative to bathing and using deodorant. Then I explained to him that his visit to the dentist should be punishment enough for not actually brushing or flossing his teeth. And if that didn't kick him in the pants, I reminded him of the two young ladies he's been trying to befriend. If all else fails, the girls will tell him his breath stinks and he needs to shower. Maybe then he'll listen to me. LOL!!