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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

David vs Goliath

I was about 10 years old and living on the infamous Sanctuary Mountain when my strengths were yet again tested by my sister, also known as Goliath. Summer was in her glory in full belief that now that our dad wasn't around she could pick on me to no end with no fear of a beating. She used this belief to puff up every chance she got. A slap here, a shove there and even the occasional smothering made her happy as an Ogre in mud.
Now I was a very small person, not to mention 3 years younger than she is. Summer on the other hand was quite the opposite. She was always very tall and heavy for her age. Probably had something to do with the food hoarding but anyway that's why we were often referred to as David and Goliath.
We were in the kitchen by the wood cook stove one night when Summer decided to puff up and display her dominance over me yet again. I cant really remember what she was so upset about or what argument we may have had. I just remember her approach. If there's anything in the world that will make me snap, it's when someone gets directly in my face and points their stubby little finger's at me. And sure enough, that's just what she did.
Summer towered over me at the farthest end of the kitchen, hissing nasty things to me and getting closer and closer until I couldn't back up anymore without burning myself on the stove. And just as her finger came up and her eyes narrowed on me I gave her a fair warning.
"You better cut it out." was all I said with one raised eyebrow and a stiff upper lip. She gave me this look as if to say, 'HA! What are you going to do about it?' Then she poked me right in the chest. That was all it took. I suddenly felt like Jackie Chan and with one swift steady motion, I gave her a karate like power shove.
Summer was sent reeling backwards flailing like a penguin who just went sky diving before realizing she couldn't fly! Her arms were swinging in circles like the blades on a helicopter while her feet danced clumsily under her heavy build.
The wooden gate built with 2x6's that separated the living room from the kitchen to keeps the dogs out was no match for her behemoth build!
Watching her sprawl all the way from one side of the kitchen to the other with my head cocked to one side like a confused pup was priceless. I stood there watching in amazement at my own strength and her bumbling clumsiness while she seemed to take forever to finally get to the gate and seal her clumsy fate! LOL!
The moment her awkward body hit the gate, she went careening down on top of it and smashed it to splinters! I still remember the spray of wood chips flying through the air as the gate seemed to explode underneath her! And of course the open mouthed and bulging eyed look of horror on her face made me giggle to tears before her butt even hit the floor!
The BOOM that filled the cabin sent the dogs into a tizzy, jumping and barking as if they had just been scared out of a deep sleep. My mother and her husband (at the time) jumped from the couch in horror as the wood littered the living room.
I swear it was like a scene from the original Godzilla movie when the giant awkward lizard destroys the city! At that thought I crumbled over in fits of hysterical laughter.
Summer on the other hand was not as amused. She went to instant tears while raising a finger and pointing at me from the other side of the room while still flat her fat ass with large chunks of wood poking up from either side of her!
Of course she would try to twist the story and blame me for her own misfortune. It was her M.O. I was used to it. She was never too proud to fight dirty. Fortunately by this time, most people were smart enough to keep their distance from me, as snapping seemed to happen more frequently at this age. At least when Summer was around anyway. LOL!
If any of you out there reading this have ever bullied your siblings, watch out! You may the next on to bite the dust....or....a....in this story, the wood!

2 comments:

  1. LMAO!! I swear you could write a book called, "My Life With Summer" & it'd be a hit! LMAO!! Bravo!! Love it Kara! :)

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  2. haha I agree with Jamie! I was a bullied sibling too! I wish I had the guts to do what you did hehe =) thanks for sharing. You're so descriptive!

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