Thursday, March 14, 2013
No Love, Just War
I don't have a relationship with my sister. For as long as I can remember we have been enemies. Unfortunately for me, I have a very big heart and have always had a soft spot in it for my family. Not that they deserved it. My sister, being the devil himself, played my strings like the finest tune. All my life she's been completely HORRIBLE!!! And I'm not just saying that as a typical sibling. She's thrown me down flights of stairs. She's knocked my teeth out. She's taken everything I own about 3 times and sold it for pot and cigarettes. She's pushed me into oncoming traffic. She's blackened my eyes. She killed my dogs. She killed my cats. She's threatened my friends in the worst ways.......all because once I was born the attention wasn't all on her anymore. So ever since day one she's done everything in her power to ruin my life and hurt me, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. (Turns out she's just like my mother.) She's even gone to jail a few times for some of these things.
I now understand that she has some serious mental problems (probably something like psychopathy) and she should really be locked up in a padded room, as its the only true way to keep everyone around her safe. And I understand that when mental illness is involved its not the person themselves to blame. Its a sickness, I get that. But when you're constantly the victim to a person like this, you have to find a way to make it stop, either by leaving or by bullets, you just have to do something. I chose to leave.
And yet, when I tell her from my mouth to her ears, "I'm not going to take this anymore. I should have done this a long time ago. I'm cutting you out of my life. Enjoy being a part of the castaways. Goodbye." she still doesn't get the hint. I haven't spoken to her since I said those words, about a year ago. She's tried to call me several times thinking if she blocks the number I might answer. I never do. She's even sent me a Christmas card, which she never does. Giving something to someone else without being asked or forced is not in her nature. I threw it out. I know bait when I see it.
This is how she works, she causes me all the pain in the world she can possibly think of, making me crazy mad! Then I tell her to "Fuck off" and I don't speak to her for months....sometimes years. But then she winds up broke and on her ass again. Then a holiday or her birthday will float around and she'll do whatever she can to get back into my good graces.
"I'm sorry, Kara! I swear, I've changed! So much has happened since the last time we talked. I promise, I'll never hurt you again." she'll beg. Then I'll feel bad and just in time for the holidays. So I'll send her gifts. But funny enough, she doesn't like them. Or the clothes don't fit, even though they're the exact size she told me she wears. Or she suddenly doesn't paint her nails or use makeup anymore. She'll make up all kinds of excuses why I should have just sent her cash. I fell for that a couple times just to have her LIE and tell me that she never got it, in hopes I'll send her more. Then of course a big fight follows and we don't speak again until the next celebratory event happens of which she demands money or gifts. And if I don't send her anything she'll call me up and YELL at me! She cries and tells me I'm being selfish because I have a job and she doesn't so I have more money than she does and its not fair that I don't give her some. She's had one job in her whole fucking life and it only lasted a couple weeks because she ROBBED HER BOSS!!!! She went to prison for a year for that!
Now she uses the excuse that no one will give her job. Well its because she robs everyone who tries to help her! And its because she's a 3 time felon!! She brought this life upon herself and yet she tries to make ME out to be the bad guy for not wanting to give her my paychecks!!
No matter what I've done for her, its never enough and she still despises every breath I take. Well, after a year of my quiet life, I get a text message from one of her ex boyfriends telling me that the reason she's been trying to get in touch with me is because she's getting married in July.
What's this, her FOURTH marriage??????
Does she really think I give a shit? See? See that? She WANTS MONEY!!!!! And even though I wont speak to her and haven't in a year, she's STILL trying to worm her way back into my life so that she can take MORE from me until she squeezes the soul right out of its shell!! FUCK THAT!!
I hate her. I'm sorry, if you don't like that, I don't really give a shit. There's only so much a person can take before they turn on you. I hate her. She can rot in hell with ALL of her husbands and she can take the rest of my disgusting family with her.
To anyone out there reading this who has been drop kicked, beaten and spit on by someone you love........take a hint.......LET THEM GO!!!!! They obviously don't love or care about you. Even if its a relative, if they treat you terribly when you've done nothing wrong......LEAVE!!! Cut them out of your life and let the sun shine on you for once! Never let anyone, no matter WHO they are, cut you down. Live free! Take your life back! Shine on!!!!!!!