From a Deaf Mouth to Loud Ears
This I write for the one who speaks too much and listens too little, the one who fails his math class and forgets to turn in his homework. This is to the one who wears his socks 5 days in a row. It’s to the one who always forgets to do what he’s asked but always remembers to play all day. This is to the boy who makes my hair gray, who makes my wine glass full and who leaves rocks in his pockets on laundry day. This is to the boy who uses sarcasm as humor but forgets to laugh. This is to the one who knows nothing but pretends he knows everything. This is to the one who STILL doesn’t know where anything is in the house. It’s to the one who uses the cabinets for ninja knife throwing practice. This is to the one who slides down the stairs on his butt till his pants wear out. It’s for the one who miraculously leaves finger prints on the ceiling and whose heels never touch the floor. This is to the mocking bird that mimics all the wrong things. This is to the boy who questions all the insignificant details of the most insignificant things.
I love you.
Do you know why? My guess is no. And it’s my own fault. I spend so much time telling you what you’re doing wrong, that I forget to tell you what you’re doing right. All mom’s love their sons. But, that’s just genetics at their best. I love you and always will, because you are my son. I’ve told you that many times. But I forgot to tell you about all the other reasons why I love you. For that, I’m sorry. I’ve never been much of a speaker, so here I put it on paper, in black and white for you to read as often or as little as you wish.
I love you.
I love you because you have a rare and surprising kindness about you. A kindness that makes the sky turn gold all around you, everywhere you go. It’s a kindness that emanates off of you like heat or an odor that is most pleasing. I love you because you make people smile everywhere you go. You smile every day and that is contagious. People will always want to be with you because of that smile. I love you because no matter how bad the world around you gets, you stay strong, you stay positive and that gives people hope. Hope is hard to come by, so for that I’m grateful. I love you because no matter how hard I am on you, you still love me unconditionally. I love you because you try harder to succeed than even the most successful adult I’ve ever known. I love you because you have a wonderful sense of humor. The ability to laugh in the face of seriousness, it’s the most powerful tool you could ever have. I love you because you don’t get embarrassed easily, and if you do, you don’t show it. That I admire. I love you because you are often right when you correct me. I love you because you’ve never been afraid of the boogie man. I love you because you finally sleep through the night. I love you because you use your deodorant every day. I love you because you always follow the rules. I love you because even when I’m not around you still try to do everything that I would make you do if I were there. I love you because you’re finally potty trained. I love you because you always ask me if I’m okay. I love you because even as you allowed me to stop kissing you and tucking you in at night, you still say, “I love you” before you go to bed every single night. I love you because no matter how bad I yell at you or punish you, you always find a way to strike up conversation or make jokes within minutes after. I love you because you wash your hands a lot. I love you because you can remember things no one would ever remember. I love you because even when your friends encourage you to do bad things, you say, “No, my mom will get mad.” I love you because you worry about me. I love you because you try to break up fights, be the peacemaker. I love you because you understand the love and respect that comes with ‘family’. I love you because you’re not afraid to try new things. I love you because you challenge the things that scare you. I love you because of how honest you are with me. I love that you tell me when something is wrong. I love when you tell me how you feel. I love when you tell me why you’re upset. I love when you talk to me about girls. I love that you have a best friend. I love that even though you don’t like the idea of change as radical as moving in with my boyfriend, you’re still willing to do it if it makes me happy. I love how happy you are when you finally figure out how to do a math problem. I love the way you shine around all the right people. I love the way you care about my clients. I love the way you’re always willing to help. I love the way you sleep all balled up in the corner. I love the cow lick in your hair that you never seem to notice. I love your sense of responsibility. I love that you try even when you know you won’t succeed. I love you because you’re a city boy. I love that we butt heads as country girl-vs-city boy. I love that when you ran up the cell phone bill and I scolded you for it, you never did it again. I love the way you’re adapting to independence. I love how sweet you are with our cat, Shiloh. I love how much you love to ride your bike. I love how you protest hunting because it breaks your heart. I love that you refuse to use live bait for fishing because you can’t stand putting the worms through so much pain. I love that you’re finally eating. I love it when you hug me. I love that you never beg me for things when we go shopping. I love that you think you’re too old for things. I love the way you handled the truth about Santa Clause…..and the tooth fairy…..and the Easter Bunny.
I love you. No matter what happens. No matter how mad I get, I love you. You are wonderful and you need to know that. You will make the world a better place. You are my shining star. You will definitely leave a print on this world. It will always remember you.
The fact of the matter is…..I love you. I can name many more things, many more reasons why, but I think I’ve said all I need to. I’m sorry I don’t say it more.
It must be because of the way I was raised, but excuses make no matter. I’m sorry. All parents should tell their children why they love them every day. So I’m writing this for you……and hope you accept my apology for never saying it before. Please remember this every day…..
I’m proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just for being you.
To my son, Jacob, I love you.
Mom
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