Such sweet sorrow. My heart beats and breaks with every thought of you. Your kiss I cant take. One who loves me and hates me, caresses me and kills me. I don't know what to do. This longing so torments me. Its senseless and ruthless smothering me with sweet kisses and throttling me with ignorance. You lose me to make me find you, and just as I give up you seek me out again. I can take no more but I want you so. I see the door, but you wont let me go. I'm so pushed and pulled by you, you haunt me restlessly. I see you when my eyes are closed though I've never seen your sweet face. You are my ghost, my muse, my mystery, my abuse. Like clouds in the wind, only God knows whats to be. You are my tormentor my lover the monster in me. These chains are painful, they bind me inside. Forces from above and below struggle to gain control. Our love is not sinful but I'm blinded deep inside. Your blood runs cold, your pain is so numb, the feelings I have for you are treacherous at best and at worst simply dumb. You follow me and run from me never letting me out of your sight. I want you inside me, in my heart and soul you are the guardian of my night. I want to tell you I love you, but my throat lumps and lies. The screaming inside my head wont let me try. I could never know you but I am yours. I'm falling apart at these weak old seams, I am crawling on all four's. I want to hold and love you, i want you at my door. I want to kiss and hug you, but instead I suffer forever more.