So.....last night I decided to call my sister. I hadn't spoken to her in weeks and I even managed to avoid calling her on Thanksgiving. Its no secret she's the only family I have that I ever speak to but only because she's very far away and also because if I ever shut her out the way I did with the rest of the family, she'd most likely sink into depression and commit suicide.
Anyway....I called her. I've been having a VERY rough couple of months lately and I've managed to keep it all to myself....well....with the exception of a friend or two....but even with them, I've held back. So it was bubbling over last night. More stuff just kept happening and I simply couldn't take anymore. So I called her. She answered happily with no new news of her own which typically gives me the green light to tell her about anything thats going on in MY life.
I began to explain to her how upset I was....with as little a voice as I have being sick with laryngitis. I told her of my broken heart, I told her about my boss who's like a father to me being so close to death. I told her about all the little things that seemed to be pushing me so effortlessly over the edge (toaster oven fire, dishwasher break down, cell phone mishaps and so on) I even told her about how my payroll company has been slacking to the point where they were late paying me both times this month which put my auto pay bills into the red this month. I've lost over $500 in bank fees alone because of them. I even told her that I STILL haven't gotten my son anything for Christmas and may not be able to do much at all because of all the above.
Would you believe.....she talked to her friends who were getting drunk the entire time I was talking....and somewhere through my sob story she handed the phone to her friend who butted in and began talking to me about himself until he got good and drunk. Once he was completely wasted he simply forgot I was on the phone and wound up in a fight with someone else in the house! I only know because I heard everything. He hadn't spoken to ME for over 10 minutes and my sister seemed to have forgotten that I was even on the phone.........so I hung up and went to bed in tears.
Now she wont talk to me because she says I was rude to hang up on her.
I really feel like just handing her a razor blade sticking my wrist in her face. I dont talk about my feelings often....especially to family. But when I do, I expect people to listen. If you dont......fuck you. I wont be talking to you anymore. If I'm not important enough for you.....then you're not important enough for me.
I wont be calling her again.
I dont give a shit if there's any typos. I'm not fixing them.